Healing Shame in Couples: Undoing the Fear/Shame Bind, the Main Barrier to Love, Attachment and Connection
Description
The more we care about each other, the more vulnerable we are to shame. Intentionally or unintentionally, we poke each other in the tender spots. Couples can shame each other multiple times a day, often without realizing what is happening. This can become a highly reactive cycle, preventing both people from getting their basic safety and attachment needs met. The more we become afraid of losing connection or not getting our needs met, the more likely this becomes. And shame can distort how we hear each other; the received message may have little to do with the message the partner is attempting to send.
In this workshop we will explore the blame/shame game couples can fall into and learn how to help them stop shaming each other and to work together to create a secure base and heal the wounds of the past.
In this training, you will learn:
- First, we learn to counter shame. To counter the shame that is there that might be invisible
- Look at some of the many subtle and not so subtle ways shame can be triggered.
- Explore shaming moments with great care so we can teach our clients how to avoid shame-based reactivity.
- Learn the gentle art of counter-shaming and how to avoid triggering feelings of inadequacy in yourself or in another person.
- Talk about, have compassion for and heal past shaming incidents within the relationship.
- Help each person to understand, have compassion, and be there for each other—to learn to face the shame dragon together, to avoid shaming in the present and heal shame from the past.
- We build a secure base so that the couple has a truer foundation
- What I am interested in -I love watching plants grow as nature is set with enough light and water and time to grow. I love watching people and couples grow when the shame is transformed